I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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