I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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