Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
