North Korea, Best Korea!
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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