yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
