idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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