Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
