I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
