somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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