Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize