They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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