the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
