Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
