You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
