I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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