I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, beer. Big fan.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
