just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just forgot I was standing up.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
