One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
