He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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