Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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