drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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