Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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