I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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