Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
