things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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