once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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