My friends, they love my intelligence
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
