i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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