So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
