Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize