____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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