Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
