speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
