"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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