why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
