I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I lost the right to judge tonight
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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