I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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