So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
