Porn is love you can see.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize