Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
