I smell stomach acid.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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