so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
