I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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