Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Text me some of your sweat
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