it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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