Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
