apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
