my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
