I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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