When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We had to coat check the pizza.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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