What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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