he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just had sex on a roof
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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