It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
