i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What a dumb baby whore.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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