I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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