He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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