Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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