LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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